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  1. I had a dream about ..

I had a dream about ..

I had a dream about Claire recently. I was in a freight yard, running through the shipping containers and trying to escape the laser blasts of the people chasing me—their guns were like something out of Star Wars. As I lost energy and my chasers closed the ground between us, I vanished into a shadowed area the size of a small closet. My plan was to wait in this sliver of poorly concealed space until my hunters gave up and retreated or found me and put an end to my escape. But Claire foiled my plan. She manifested out of nowhere, grinned at me, jumped into the light and started shooting at my mysterious chasers. I was hesitant to join her but her fervor for the fight rallied me into action. I jumped out and we started blasting our guns in every direction. They were closing in on us, and our demise felt imminent, but we were laughing. The action and near calamity of the situation felt both real and like a video game. I was terrified for my life but intoxicated by Claire’s presence and the urgency and excitement of the fight. As the gun battle came to an end—no one really “won,” the enemy just disappeared like smoke from a fire—Claire and I dropped back into the shadows and looked at each other, panting from the thrill of the fight and laughing hysterically. I couldn’t stop staring at her. Just as I began to relax and contemplate her smile—it wasn’t a half-smile, it was full and uninhibited—I realized something was amiss. Even as I was fully immersed in the dream, I became conscious that it was just that, a dream. Her presence was palpable, but she was a chimera. I felt both cheated and gratified. I started sobbing. Sobbing because I knew my dream could shift at the drop of a hat, and she’d be gone just as quickly as she had appeared. Sobbing because I was so happy to see her. Sobbing because she was so happy to see me. Sobbing because she was alive and this was real. Sobbing because she wasn’t alive and this wasn’t real. Before I could say or do anything, I was jolted into consciousness. I was paralyzed in my bed, sobbing.

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